To think that the first time I saw you cry… your tears would be for me.
It’s sad and yet—
Byleth jolted awake as he flung the bedsheets back with a gasp. He glanced down at his hands to find them trembling and gripped the sheets in order to calm himself down. He could feel the cold sweat dripping down his back and forehead and slowly raised his hand to wipe it away. His fingers became caught in his tangled, damp hair and Byleth stared at the light green strands that even years later still took time getting used to.
His panting eventually slowed as well as his racing heart, and Byleth calmly rose to remove the curtains covering the rising sun. As he watched the beaming light ascend further in the sky, he wiped away the tears that soaked his cheeks.
It only took that single nightmare to remind him exactly what day it was. The day of his beloved father’s death. Instinctively, he reached for the ring hanging from the necklace around his neck and thumbed it over as he remembered the day Jeralt gave it to him. Even though it had been six years since his father passed, there were times when it felt like it was only yesterday.
For Byleth, those five years only felt like moments. Therefore, the grief was still a fresh wound on his heart. Thankfully, he’d had plenty of work as the new archbishop following the war to distract him from it.
However, it seemed today wouldn't be one of those days.
He sighed heavily as he removed the necklace and held the ring in his palm. It was a symbol of how much his father wanted Byleth to be happy, which is why he knew Jeralt wouldn’t want him crying and grieving alone.
He wasn’t truly alone, though. Even though the other side of their bed was covered, Byleth could still smell the scent of him on their sheets. He could still feel the warmth of his body on the bed.
Even though Byleth knew he could go to him as his lover had done to him, he didn’t want to worry his king. But as he stared at the ring, he pondered over a different way to honor his father’s final wish for himself.
After getting ready, Byleth left their bedroom and headed for the council room where he was sure his king was waiting. And sure enough, after he pushed the enormous, heavy doors and poked his head inside, there he was, King Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. The king sat at the head of the table, listening intently to the others as they spoke.
Byleth bowed towards the others as he took a seat on Dimitri’s right, absentmindedly listening to the lords’ proposals and concerns. Although he knew he should be paying attention, all he could do was stare at his beloved’s handsome appearance. As if Dimitri could sense the meaning behind Byleth’s gaze, he slid his hand underneath the table to twine their fingers and squeezed firmly while Byleth simply ran his thumb along the back of Dimitri’s palm, enjoying the soothing warmth it gave him as he watched the tips of Dimitri’s ears turn red.
Before he knew it, the meeting had come to a close and everyone rose to bow to each other before going their separate ways. When one of the counts pulled Dimitri aside, Byleth lingered by the window in the back of the hall, watching the falling leaves blow in the wind as he waited for his king.
As he watched a group of children jump into a pile of leaves, a distinct memory of his childhood came to mind. Jeralt and the other mercenaries all raked an enormous pile of leaves just for him to jump into. To everyone’s surprise, he wouldn’t jump into it without Jeralt.
Byleth stared down at his hand as if he could feel Jeralt’s grabbing his as they jumped into the pile together, his father’s laughter ringing in his ears-
“Byleth!” He glanced up with wide eyes as he gazed at Dimitri in confusion. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” Byleth sighed as he lightly pushed Dimitri’s fingers away and blinked away the tears blurring his vision as he glanced outside again. During all those years of suffering and tragedy during the war, he never once shed a tear, but as soon as Byleth thought of his father, they came pouring out.
“How can you tell me not to worry?” Dimitri asked with a tinge of hurt in his voice as he cupped Byleth’s chin and made him face Dimitri again. “You can depend on me, Byleth. I vow to do anything to help you, so please let me in.”
Although he didn’t want to burden Dimitri with his problems when Dimitri had plenty of his own, how could he say no to those adorably pleading eyes? “I know I can depend on you, but there is nothing that can be done. Today…my father… he-” Byleth could barely choke out the rest of his sentence, but thankfully he didn’t have to as Dimitri immediately pulled him into a tight embrace and rubbed Byleth’s back soothingly.
“I’m so sorry, Byleth.” Dimitri whispered into Byleth’s ear as Byleth sank into Dimitri’s arms as he clung to the back of his king’s cloak. “You should have told me sooner. I would not have asked you to attend today’s meeting. You should be resting and grieving-”
“I didn’t want to grieve.” Byleth interrupted as he buried his face in Dimitri’s neck, basking in his calming scent. “I thought I would carry on like usual.”
“You can’t bury yourself in work to distract yourself from your grief-”
“Says the one that does the exact same thing.” Byleth quipped. “No offense, Your Majesty, but please do not lecture me when you also use your work as a distraction.”
Dimitri brushed his fingers along Byleth’s cheek as he sighed in defeat. “You’re right, I apologize. I guess we both need to take a break away from all of this one day.”
“How about today?” Dimitri raised his eyebrow. “You just vowed to do anything to help me, did you not?”
Dimitri nodded slowly as the corners of his lips lifted in amusement. “I did.”
“Then take some time off and travel with me.” Byleth announced but was still worried that Dimitri would reject it and suggest another time. When the war had first ended, Byleth and Dimitri wasted no time confessing their love for each other as they chased each other’s touch under twisted sheets. But that was as far as it ever went.
Although they spent every night together, they were so consumed with work all day that their relationship had been stuck in a standstill. Byleth was determined to change that during this trip so he hoped against hope that Dimitri would say yes.
“Alright.” Dimitri agreed, and Byleth beamed up at his king as Dimitri kissed Byleth’s cheek. “I’m looking forward to it because I’ve missed you.”
“But I’m always right next to you.”
“I know,” Dimitri replied with a tender smile, “but we haven’t been able to spend much time alone-”
“And I wonder who could be at fault for that?” Byleth couldn’t help but retort. However, he regretted it instantly as he watched Dimitri’s expression transform into guilt.
“I’m so sorry Byleth-”
“I was only teasing, please don’t worry about it-”
“No.” Dimitri interrupted immediately. “I have been prioritizing my work over you lately and for that I’m truly sorry. I vow to try my best to not focus on anything but you for the entire two weeks of our trip.”
“Two?” It didn’t take that long to get to the destination Byleth had in mind, but now that Dimitri agreed to it, they could take their time and enjoy it. “Thank you for agreeing to my request, Your Majesty. I will begin making preparations immediately.”
As they left Blaiddyd and were on their way to Conand for the night, Byleth took a deep breath as he glanced at the wide plains filled with trees and flowers. Even though Dimitri had announced their departure and emphasized that no one else would be joining, it was only when they reached Blaiddyd did Dimitri snap and order the guards to return to Fhirdiad.
Byleth knew they meant well, but he was grateful that Dimitri had finally sent them away so he could finally enjoy his time alone with his king.
Byleth watched as the wind blew Dimtri’s long, golden hair out of his face and was struck by just how beautiful his love was. Even with scars and an eyepatch, Byleth couldn’t think of anyone more handsome than his king.
“Feeling better?” Dimitri grinned as he glanced at Byleth, and Byleth simply nodded as he reached for Dimitri’s hand, and Dimitri kissed it tenderly. “Now do you want to tell me where we’re headed?”
“I already informed you that it was going to be a surprise.”
“But-”
“Did you know that Conand is having a festival tonight?” Byleth interrupted as a way to change the subject..
“No I didn’t. Did you want to attend?”
“Only if you’d like to join me.” Byleth replied as he remembered what one of the knights had told him about it. “I was hoping we could join in on the dancing since I never got to dance with you that night at the academy.”
Byleth watched as Dimitri tilted his head with a scrunched expression as if he was trying to recall that night years ago. “I guess you’re right. I knew that I wanted to dance with you, but you disappeared before I could ever ask.”
“Then ask me tonight.” Dimitri simply grinned down at Byleth as they continued down the windy road. As someone who never shared much about himself, much less said anything, Byleth began to slowly open up more about Jeralt, telling Dimitri stories of traveling and working with mercenaries throughout his childhood.
Dimitri would lovingly wipe away the occasional stray tear that Byleth couldn’t hold back, and when Byleth couldn’t say anymore, Dimitri shared stories about himself. Although Byleth understood Dimitri like no one else, there was still so much to learn about his king, and he was eternally grateful that he finally had the chance to do just that.
By the time the sun had almost completely set, they arrived at the top of a hill to discover a town twinkling with bright lights. Even from how far away they were, Byleth could hear cheerful music and clapping, prompting them to gallop faster so they could make it to the festival in time.
When they finally arrived, they left their steeds with the stables at the edge of town and searched for an inn to check into for the night. As Dimitri talked to the innkeeper, Byleth stepped outside to gaze at the town square. Crowds of people were gathered together under decorative lanterns and flags and confetti being thrown down at them. Byleth caught the scent of every food stall, making his stomach growl as he wished to try every single one of them. But what caught Byleth’s attention most of all were the smiles on everyone's faces.
Every smile radiated pure joy. They appeared as if life couldn’t get any better than it was at the moment, and Byleth wondered if his face could ever beam like theirs. Their smiles were nothing like the strained, forced ones everyone in Dimitri’s court and the church used to greet each other with. Yes, they were all working towards rebuilding a kingdom where everyone would be smiling like this, but when could they ever stop and enjoy it, too?
Although Fhirdiad had plenty of festivals to celebrate when the war ended, none of them had been able to attend because they were overloaded with work. Felix used to grumble to Byleth constantly about how ridiculous the festivals were and although Byleth didn’t disagree at the time, he could now. There was no reason they couldn’t enjoy life, or the simple fact that they were alive.
Therefore, when Dimitri came up behind Byleth with a tender embrace, Byleth didn’t waste any time pulling Dimitri out into the square so they could dance.
“W-Wait! I only just put our luggage in the room. We need to unpack-”
“There'll be time for that. For now, let’s dance!”
“But Byleth-”
“Please?” Byleth pleaded with an innocent look that he knew Dimitri couldn’t say no to.
“A-Alright.” Dimitri relented with a faint blush across his cheeks as he adjusted to the right position and before bowing. “May I have this dance, my love?”
Byleth chuckled as his heart fluttered and took Dimitri’s calloused hand. “You may.” When Dimitri slung his arm around Byleth’s waist to draw him closer, Byleth couldn’t help but smile back at him. As the music slowed and all of the couples began to dance, Byleth could only see Dimitri. He couldn’t even hear the music anymore as the soft light shone on his king, making him wonder if Dimitri was an angel sent down from heaven into Byleth’s life to save him from his lifetime of solitude and numbness.
“Byleth, stop looking at me like that.” Dimitri whispered in Byleth’s ear as he leaned in closer. “I-I can’t…”
Byleth hadn’t been trying to tease him. He just couldn’t help himself sometimes. “It’s only because I’m reminded of how much I love you, Dimitri. My love just doesn’t stop growing.” Although Byleth could never hope to measure love, he knew that his love for Dimitri continued to grow every day, and he was more than prepared to use the ring hidden in his pocket to make sure there wouldn’t be an end to it in sight.
“B-Byleth..” Dimitri sighed as he gripped Byleth’s waist fiercely. “I love you so much. Forgive me if I don’t say it enough or if I say it too much, but I truly, truly love you.” As the song ended, Byleth cupped Dimitri’s face before pressing their lips together in a tender kiss. He wasn’t trying to linger for too long because they were still in public, but once Dimitri’s tongue glided over his own, he couldn’t hold himself back. It wasn’t until one of the townspeople bumped into them that they finally broke apart with burning cheeks.
“W-Why don’t we tour the town?” he quickly suggested, and Dimitri gladly agreed to it. As they strolled down the streets, hand in hand, Dimitri treated Byleth to whatever he wanted to eat and they shared it as they walked. Though there were some streets with rubble and debris still left over from the war, Byleth could tell just how hard these people were working to rebuild this town. He silently hoped that one day he and Dimitri could retire to a town just like this.
Later the next day, when they had almost arrived, Dimitri easily guessed by then what their destination was. And when they arrived at the crumbling, debris-filled monastery, they both sighed at the sight of Garreg Mach. As they slowly walked through the debris, numerous memories flooded through Byleth and when he glanced at Dimitri, he knew the other was doing the same. Although there were many painful ones Byleth would never want to relive, he wouldn’t choose to forget everything because of all the good that happened.
It’s the monastery where he was appointed as Dimitri’s teacher. It’s where he learned the truth about his mother. It’s the place where he learned how to communicate with others and grow close to them. Although he blamed the church for many of the hardships they all suffered through, he still wanted to help them rebuild this place.
The remaining followers of the Church of Seiros had worked tirelessly to put it back together, there was still so much left to go. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken time off. Maybe he should volunteer as well and-
“Byleth.” Dimitri’s voice broke Byleth out of his thoughts. “Hey, it’s going to be rebuilt. It might not be the same, but it’ll get there. And when it’s ready, we’ll come back again, together.” Byleth nodded as he squeezed Dimitri’s hand and led him towards the reason they came.
He had hoped against hope that the cemetery was still there. Although there was rubble covering up most of it, Byleth could still see a few headstones unbroken and hurriedly pushed against the stone and bricks covering the graveyard. Once he had cleaned it up as best as he could, he used his cape to wipe the dust off of a headstone and was struck with a wave of grief as he stared at his mother’s name. He immediately brushed off the grave next to it to discover his father’s grave still standing strong and couldn’t hold back the sob that’d been building inside of him.
Dimitri rushed to hold Byleth as he sobbed and cried out their names. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve saved you. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough, Father. I-I miss you..” He didn’t know how long he’d been crying as Dimitri stayed by his side, never letting him go. When Dimitri pressed a kiss to the top of Byleth’s head, he was reminded of the reason he sought to travel here. Although he could’ve spent the rest of their time off grieving, he needed to make good on the promise he made to his father.
Therefore, he leaned back out of Dimitri’s embrace to face him as he lowered to one knee. “Byleth? What’re you doing? Are you alright-”
“King Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd,” Byleth interrupted as he pulled out the ring his father entrusted with him on this very spot years ago. “Although we haven’t been lovers for very long, I have known you for many years and during that time I have come to love you more than anything in this world and my love continues to increase with each passing day.” As he raised the ring to show Dimitri, he discovered his king’s cheeks were flooded with tears rolling down them as he gazed at Byleth with nothing but pure love.
“I thought it would take a lot more time before we came to this point, but during this trip I’ve realized that I don’t want to waste anymore time. We’ve wasted enough of it, during those years I was away, and during the months we’ve been doing nothing but work. I don’t want to waste anymore because I want to make sure my future has nothing but you in it. I don’t care if we’ll never be able to completely fix this broken kingdom as long as I have you, nothing matters.”
“I want to marry you and no one else, and I don’t want to wake up one day and be told you’re to marry for the kingdom. I want you to marry me. I want us to stay together until long after we draw our last breath. There is no one or nothing else I want in this world more than to be your husband. So Dimitri, will you marry me?”
Dimitri immediately collapsed to his knees as he kissed Byleth fiercely, holding him so tightly that Byleth could barely breathe. When they finally broke apart, Byleth realized the wetness on his face wasn’t just from Dimitri’s tears but his own as Dimitri gasped out, “Yes. Yes I will marry you, Byleth.”
As they continued to kiss and whisper their love for each other, Byleth glanced at his parents’ graves with a fond smile. “Mother, Father, this is Dimitri, my husband. What do you think?” Right at that moment a soft breeze blew through the graveyard and Byleth could practically feel love and approval flowing through him and knew this was a day he would never forget. Although there were still so many uncertainties in their future, he knew for sure that Dimitri would always be a part of it.
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